April 13, 2014
Yes, it’s April. No, I haven’t submitted anything to my supervisors for review. I met my main supervisor last week who was very concerned. I managed to reassure him but I will need to meet some serious milestones to show (in action not just words) that I am serious. It is shocking how long I have taken on this chapter. I reached 16k and tidied up the content to produce a cleaner 14k version in February. Since then, very little has happened. There are obvious gaps, and I’m hopeful that by the end of this month I will have something decent to call a draft. The time I need for my research is just not there. With all the pressure I put on my time outside work, I am still only able to produce an hour or so a day and a Saturday. This is only possible with disappointed kids, family, friends: often all on the same day.
I am at a cross-road (yes another one) and it looks like a difficult decision has to be made – or has been made. I feel the theoretical side of the research is something I can finally get my head around. The practical side was always clearer. To give up and let this slip out of my hands at this stage, and after some significant investments would be ludicrous.
February 25, 2014
This is what my supervisor said when I sent him an honest update of my delay – yet again – in getting some serious writing done. I’m so behind, I only found time today to update this blog. January was hectic at work and, with the end-of-year appraisals for my team and bank-wide, it flew like superman shooting to the moon. The truth is: there is time. There is always time. It’s focus and, ironically, motivation, that are lacking. Moving the PhD office to work… didn’t work like I had planned. Interruptions I expected, but deliberately finding a distraction is something I simply need to stop. Even outside the office, I spend way too much time on social media. The latter I’m not sure I want to stop – it provides sanity and contact that I enjoy.
I need to change the perception of my supervisor who was not reassured – despite my nice emails. His most recent reply included not only the title of this post, but also a line that said he found my progress ‘unsatisfactory’. I promised a chapter by the end of February (25th today and I’m just over the halfway mark); and another smaller chapter by the end of March.
December 11, 2013
Life (mainly my work life) is getting in the way. I need to get my act together or this will simply not happen! I haven’t made any progress in the past five weeks. Nothing at all, not even any significant reading. If I stop and think how much I’m wasting on my university fees it may give me another kick – one that I probably need. It’s time for some drastic action: less socialising (what it actually means is virtually zero socialising – at least for a while) and, more so, to know when to stop at work. My work days seem to get longer and longer. My two hours in the early morning are not well-utilised from cafe to cafe; and I’m too drained to do anything after a long day at the office and an evening jog. Research time has been gobbled up by end-of-year appraisals and more new initiatives that seem to only add to my workload. A long business trip (the first in months – but still) took out a good chunk of late November and early December – and any free time during the trip that was supposed to be for my research ended up being spent on much-needed leisure.
It’s not good enough! Guilt – in case it isn’t apparent – is eating away in chunks. My PhD now needs to muscle its way back into my life. Decision: I am moving my PhD desk to my office at work. This will give me two hours before ‘working hours’ and if I stay behind for two more hours I would get a total of four (pray, pray, pray). This should be an absolute minimum but it’s a start. On slow days (I am yet to have one!!) I could potentially take half an hour here or there on top – but I’m happy with the four if I can get them and would be very grateful. Having my notes, books, papers open and ready all day will hopefully add to the urgency and reduce the time it takes to set myself up every time I find a good spot at yet another cafe.
I’m packing. Should be in my new home over the weekend or Sunday at the latest.
October 19, 2013
I do not need reminding that this is an important milestone and a deadline to stick to. I must complete my literature review on Motivation by the end of October. On a short family holiday last week, I spent more time in the hotel lounge than anywhere else (including sleep) and am a third of the way as I write these words. I need to get to the more quality content after finalising a draft structure and putting in around 10k words (of which half will probably remain) as an introduction to the topic and the relevant theories.
September 24, 2013
How is it September already? My July milestone was missed and I tried to finish my Literature Review for September but that doesn’t look possible. It’s the evening of the 24th and I have just met my supervisor who was not very happy. Nor am I to be honest – frustration is taking over. Frustration because I now know what I need to be doing, I just need to find the time to do it. The review we both agreed was ‘satisfactory with reservation‘ and my comments and his were a fair reflection of the past year. Slow progress but moving in the right direction.
I managed to reassure him in less than an hour – after it took me a week of reading nothing but Psychology to reassure myself. The realisation that the answers don’t sit in Organisational Behaviour books, because the source of all the theories are from Psychology, was instrumental. My reading of the past few weeks has been like a language course making sense of what was foreign text. ‘Locus‘ of control, and ‘operant‘ behaviour and god knows what else. It suddenly placed everything for me. I should point out that my knowledge of Psychology until a few weeks ago was an image of Frasier (yes the sitcom) – and yes I know that’s Psychiatry.
Looking ahead, I have to complete a large chapter by late October (I’ve written 4000 words of the 20,000 expected), another chapter by January and my Methodology chapter by June. Sounds reasonable – until I remember just how quickly September came.
July 26, 2013
The most basic of time management skills would have taken me to where I need to be without much effort, yet somehow in my attempt to achieve good balance, I tipped everything over. The main victim has been my study time with work, family, social engagements and exercise taking over the rest of my time: on most days, in that order. Since February this year, I have been looking for scraps of time here and there for my study and this simply doesn’t work. A chat with my wife last week spelled out the very obvious. I need to make a change – and now. I have to do things the other way around.
Study time has to be set, respected and utilised. Life has to fit around my PhD. This is especially true with me switching to part time and thus requiring a somewhat lighter daily investment . Family stays number one (they let me get on with it more than any family could), work is no longer allowed to invade the rest of my time (not as much as it has been the past few weeks), exercise (not a luxury with my hypertension) will be shorter daily sessions instead of prolonged ones on alternate day. Everything else needs to push its way in.
This sounds logical and simple, but I have missed it completely. I feel a lot more positive now – even if I’m missing a major milestone as I type these words. I can see that with this new approach I can quickly catch up, and meet the other milestones set for the next twelve months.
May 10, 2013
Life has a way of planning the unplanned and no matter how much we put in place to create a path, God has a better one that may not always be what we expect. As my first year ended with not much to show, another summer of job change was on the horizon. Holiday plans have been cancelled, and I start a new job mid-May. I’m taking the opportunity to meet friends in London over the weekend and I saw my supervisors earlier today to assure them I’m still around. It looks like the part-time route is the right one since I am simply unable to find the hours every day to justify calling my research full time. At this time I struggle to even call it part-time. I have resigned from my job with Emerson and will be joining a local bank next week.
One of the first things I read – and may have mentioned on this blog – is not to get a job during your PhD. I am now on my second job during the first year! The good news is that my new job will be in the field of Human Resources, which matches my research. There is, thank God, no travel involved – or very little. Compared to today this will hopefully make a significant contribution to my time pool. I have agreed a new timeline with my supervisors for my literature review to be in by end of July (a draft version before if possible), the second half of the literature review (on the subject of Performance Management) by December, and my methodology chapter by June next year.
May 9, 2013
‘Whenever I’m not motivated to work on my thesis, I am acutely aware of the irony!’
I posted this on instagram and thought it would be good to capture it here too…
April 7, 2013
It really is hard to believe that it is one year since registering at Surrey. It went by quickly and I have achieved less than I had anticipated. However, when I consider that I took on a full-time job in July last year it is probably no surprise that I slowed down on the PhD project. Today my achievement is a draft chapter one which I know will change 100%. Effectively this puts me exactly where I started a year ago… but…
It was very much a year of discovery. From knowing nothing about motivation, to knowing a lot more than the average human should. I have read (or looked at) every book on the subject and am slowly working my way through key journal articles. My aims and methodology are not clear but as I read more and more I am becoming familiar with what needs to be tested – and more importantly how to test it. I have also begun to understand the academic world and the process of research at a whole new level. I am asking and enquiring as I read and critique. This is the part that I enjoy most: learning to have an opinion.
In short, I have nothing tangible to show for my first year – but I am supposed to hand in a draft of my literature review by the end of April. If I do that, I would be very happy and with it I will be able to stay at my job and switch my PhD to a more realistic part-time programme. The next meeting with my supervisors will be in May. Until then I need to spend all the hours God gives me to finish my literature review.
March 24, 2013
It was a busy start to the week with preparations for a meeting and a whole day with clients in Reading. The last few days have been wonderful. The first time I really knew what I was doing with my writing and I was able to make a good start on the structure of my chapter as well as the headings. Now it’s about filling in the right theories and presenting the relevant studies within the right headings. Relatively simple but very time-consuming.
It has been great to be back at Imperial. The library is well stocked with good internet coverage and comfortable working areas. It’s also not very far by underground from where I live – which is a great bonus. It’s going well. I know I have a few business trips and engagements when I return. I will take a week off in April to catch up with my family (I have seen very little of them) during the day and with my writing in the evenings. It’s probably the only empty slot I have left until the end of April when my literature review is due.